Identity Thingy.

I am actually at the state of being curious and confused at the same time. I've reached the point of asking myself who I really am. I thought everything would be just fine. Everything will just go smoothly as it is. But one day, I realized I cannot run away from that fact... my biological father.

Each day, it bothers me. A lot of what ifs come to my mind, and I always end up crying myself to sleep. It hurts to know that he never even bothered to know about his daughter. Seventeen years, I never heard a single word from him. Tsk tsk.. Seventeen years had passed, still no signs of him.

I am not trying to hurt my step dad here. In fact, I love him more than my real dad. It's just that there's something missing.. maybe my identity. A lot of people would say that I got my nose and my complexion from my dad and I've seen it in pictures too, and yeah.. they're quite right.

Weeks ago, I've made up my mind. I'll start looking for him before I turn eighteen. I'm beginning to hate myself everyday and I don't think that'd be healthy. I hated all the people in our house well maybe because I do have trust and identity issues. Honestly, I don't know who to trust in this house anymore. It's like everybody's too busy to even care about me.

At this moment, I really feel so lost. I don't know how to start this search or where to start looking for him. All I have is his name and his picture. Other details? I'm totally clueless.

For now, I'll keep on praying. I hope one day, He'll be able to give me some answers.. I hope to find you, Papa. I have lots of questions that only you can give the answer. First thing would be, why did you leave us?


My biological father's name is Ronnie De Vera Sanchez
He is from Pampanga.
Once worked in Baguio (Royal London Circus)
~where he actually met my mom.
[any help will be appreciated] :)